written in 2006
Bingo (Vici OK)
It was a terrible day, (During menopause an alien took over my mind and body.) My friend Dana, called and said I just had to go to the Secret Sister luncheon.
“No!”
“Yes!,”
We argued, she won.
After I pulled myself up by my bra straps, plastered a layer or two of makeup on my face, (gotta keep the old barn painted. ) Sweat pants tossed to the hamper, overalls probably not the thing to wear to the church lady doings. I put on my too tight Rockies’ Jeans. That was not such a great choice. now I'm cranky and miserable.
In the kitchen, I rooted around in the fridge found a couple of packages of cream cheese that weren't moldy, and whipped up my famous cheese ball, wrapped it in plastic wrap, plopped it on a plate, grabbed a box of crackers and preceded to go out into the cold cruel world.
At the door, I looked out the wind had ramped up from our normal 45 mile an hour breeze to something a little stronger. It wasn’t going in circles, it couldn’t be a tornado. I got the storm door open, the wind slammed it shut with me in it, banged my head on the steel door. I peeled the cheeseball off my chest and wiped the loose parsley flakes and nuts from my shirt. The Saran Wrap had failed. I clutched the cheeseball in a firmer grip and ran to the car. Well... I tried, I leaned into the wind, my head stuck out like a snail in the wind running in place. I finally made it to the car, jumped in slammed the door before the wind could do any more damage to me or my cheeseball. I reshaped my little cheese oval, it was no longer a ball.
Finally I got to the church kitchen door, the wind was so strong, I couldn’t get the door open, I set my little cheese oval and crackers down, wrestled that dad-gummed door with both hands until I got it shut. I looked around and couldn’t find my cheese oval. Through the window I saw it sitting in the cold on the step.
A church lady asked if I needed help. We don’t have enough time today to get into all that... I pointed out the window and said, I left my cheese oval on the step. She opened the door and I bolted out the door to rescue my cheese oval. I let her deal with the door.
My so called friend, Dana came over, looked at my food offereing and said, “Hmm drop it in the car and let it roll around a bit?”
Glaring at her, I picked off a bit of the grit where the wind storm that had assaulted it. I told her “It’s the Italian dressing, it’s supposed to look this way.”
After dinner, they passed out the Bingo cards. I sat in my depressed state of mind, putting beans on the little squares.
Dana leaned over to look at my card. (Much like someone cheating on a test.) She yelled out for everyone to hear, “Geannii has a BINGO!”
That isn’t what upset me. It was the words she just had to add. I know she didn’t mean to, perhaps they were just too good to grab and drag back in “ARE YOU SLOW OR WHAT?”
Well the way she said or what . . . I chose to be slow and just glared at her some more before I informed her, “You don’t have to tell everyone in the room that I am slow. There are some things I don’t want advertised!.”
Giggling she blushed a little, I hope she felt a tiny bit embarrassed“ Well I’ll take your prize if you don’t want it.” .
I may be “slow” but I’m not stupid! I got up and retrieved my own prize. I had to leave right away, I was close to ruining my bad mood with all the fun and gaity written in 2006.
